Recently, I came across a meme quoting comedian Wanda Sykes. While I disagreed with most of what she said, her punchline struck me hard:
“We’re focusing on the wrong sh_t.”
As crude as it may sound, she’s right—we are focusing on the wrong things. And we, as followers of Jesus, need to shift our gaze.
The meme that caught my attention referenced a tragic and inflammatory scenario to make a political point. The details don’t bear repeating here, but what matters is the deeper issue it raised: our culture is increasingly consumed by outrage, name-calling, and taking sides. And too often, Christians get caught up in the noise.
I’m not writing to debate specific issues. I’m writing because I’m burdened by what I see happening in our response to these issues. It breaks my heart how easily we allow ourselves to be divided—by ideologies, social media posts, and even by our fellow believers. We’re missing the bigger picture.
Let’s not forget that our real enemy isn’t a person or a group. It’s Satan—and he’s been sowing division since the Garden of Eden. His strategy is simple: if he can turn us against each other, he doesn’t have to work so hard to destroy us.
He loves it when we argue, cancel, unfriend, and label. When we do that, we’ve lost sight of the people in front of us—people deeply loved by God, even if they’re making choices we can’t understand or agree with.
One of the biggest realizations I’ve had in recent years is that we don’t know what we don’t know. Our beliefs are shaped from childhood by our families, churches, mentors, experiences—and yes, even the media. We all carry assumptions and blind spots.
I’ve believed things in the past that I later realized weren’t true. Even in my coaching journey, I was taught ideas I now see as misaligned with biblical truth. That doesn’t make me a liar—it means I was doing the best I could with the knowledge I had.
I believe God allows us to encounter ideas we don’t yet understand—sometimes even false ones—so we can grow, learn, and better empathize with others. But ultimately, there’s only one source of absolute truth: the Bible.
A year ago, I wrote a post called “What is Truth?” inspired by the moment when Pilate questioned Jesus before His crucifixion. Ironically, Pilate stared Truth in the face and didn’t even recognize it.
That moment reminds me: sometimes, we’ll have opportunities to speak Truth boldly. Other times, the Holy Spirit may nudge us to stay silent and wait. Either way, truth must always be spoken in love. If it’s not wrapped in compassion, people won’t hear it. They’ll only feel judged and wounded.
I often say courageous retirement isn’t about skydiving or sailing the world. It’s about sharing God’s truth—in love—with those He places in our lives. As we age, we’re given incredible opportunities to influence the next generation. Let’s not miss them.
When your grandchild or a struggling friend comes to you, will they see judgment—or love? Will they see someone safe enough to share their questions and brokenness with?
And if they don’t come to you—if they’ve already pulled away—we can still pray. We can trust that God will send someone else into their life. Let’s not let Satan win by turning us into the very thing we say we stand against.
Sadly, I’ve read posts by people I admire—Christians—who’ve made hurtful, sweeping statements about people like me, not directly to me, but about those who share my beliefs. And I’ll admit, it stung. I wanted to unfriend them and walk away.
But if I did that, I’d act like the culture I’m trying to resist.
So, instead, I stop. I breathe. I pray.
We can’t respond with hate when someone else does. We don’t need to prove we’re right. We need to show Who is right—and that’s Jesus.
When Jesus was in the garden, agonizing in prayer before His crucifixion, His disciples fell asleep. Then Judas showed up, and Peter responded in anger—cutting off a man’s ear. But Jesus didn’t praise Peter for defending Him. He healed the man and said, “Those who live by the sword will die by the sword.”
Jesus chose love over retaliation. And we should, too.
Peter, who acted out in anger, later denied Jesus out of fear. Isn’t that so human? One minute we’re ready to fight for Jesus, the next we’re afraid to be associated with Him.
That’s why we must respond to others not with our emotions—but with the Spirit’s leading.
Here’s a question that challenges me daily:
What if God is less concerned with whether we’re right, and more concerned with how we treat the people in front of us?
What if the goal isn’t to win the argument—but to win the heart?
As I often say on my podcast, Longing for More, our souls long for more of Jesus. That’s the heart of my work, and the reason I created ClubMore—a place for people who are hungry for deeper faith and a meaningful legacy.
Let’s remember that the next person we’re tempted to argue with might be the next Saul—someone who will one day become a Paul and share the Gospel boldly. We may never know what seeds our words of kindness or restraint will plant.
So, when you’re tempted to react in anger…
Pause.
Breathe.
Pray.
Let’s focus on what truly matters—and love well.
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