They say you can’t go back to the past. That once you’ve moved on, you should never look back. 

I get it. Even though I have never been one to long for those days gone by, I do get nostalgic about some memories. But it can be a slippery slope, can’t it? There are the memories our mind has simply put away because they are too painful. It’s simply been easier to leave them buried in the back of our minds. 

But then, as life would have it, something comes up that stirs those memories. You go to a place you haven’t been to in years. Or you see someone you’d forgotten about.  And memories you’d buried deep within float to the surface. Often it is the little inconsequential things like the name of your favorite restaurant you went to all the time. Or that funky place you’d totally forgotten about. And then all of a sudden, you are thinking about that conversation and the words you never wanted to remember come flooding back.

And then, somehow, you realize that it isn’t the same. It no longer holds any power over you. 

In fact, after all this time, you can look at the place and the heartache it resembles and be grateful for all of it because it is at the core of who you are today.  

You realize that if you had skipped that season of your life, you’d be an entirely different person. And that you know that isn’t something you’d want. 

That happened to me this week. I went back to the place where life shifted for me. The place where the one thing I thought I’d wanted for years slipped away.

What I couldn’t know then was that God was helping me let go of the very thing that was holding me back from becoming the person He created me to be. The person I was longing to be but didn’t have the courage to take the necessary steps to grow into. 

God had much bigger plans for me and I was clinging to the things that were familiar, even if they weren’t necessarily healthy. 

He allowed a chain of events to happen that I couldn’t control and I ended up making choices that I wouldn’t have made otherwise. 

God was helping me connect the dots when I wasn’t able to see the big picture on my own. He was helping me to take the next right step even when I wasn’t asking Him to. It was painful and it was frightening to keep moving forward on my own. 

Looking back, I now know God was blessing me even though it didn’t feel like blessing. And that is what I want to talk about today.

Fast forward three and a half decades. A beautiful Christian woman with a dream of her own hosted a conference for Christian podcasters in that very city where my painful memories lay buried. It was an inaugural event and a mutual friend encouraged me to go. At first I didn’t think it was for me, but once again, God had a different plan. 

I had no idea, but He was getting ready for me to let go of some other things that were holding me back and after much prayer and consideration it was clear that He wanted me at that event. Ironically, the event was within miles of that place where my life had begun to shift all those years ago. 

So I went back again. None of it looked the same. But it did open memories I’d long forgotten about, I thought of people I had not recalled for decades.  After all these years, I was finally ready to look at that season from a perspective of the good that came from it. 

I got to see that younger me from a new perspective and realized the courage she had to move thousands of miles away to take a job in the heart of the fastest-growing city in America. It reminded me of the lessons I learned and the person I was becoming, even then. 

It is so cool that now, all these years later, God used the same location to show me that it is time again to make some big changes and to have the courage to let go of the things that are holding me back from becoming the person He wants me to become. 

I found a community in that conference of people who truly get my mission and not only tolerate it, but embrace it. People who will actively help me to go after the dreams that have been on my heart forever and the ones I was even surprised I had. 

God does that you know. He leads us through this maze of life and uses the various stages, seasons, even moments, to create this series of dots that we don’t realize all fit together until much later. It isn’t until the dots are connected that we see that He was blessing us even when it didn’t feel like it.  

Where are you feeling pushed or pulled to a place you are hesitant to go? What crazy things are happening in your life that don’t make any sense? 

Do you have memories from the past that you have buried that may have actually been a step toward who you were meant to become and it’s time to let go of the hurt or even the people who are holding you back from moving toward that future you? 

If so, I encourage you to trust Jesus. To let go of that fear and self-doubt and know that He is walking with you and, in fact, may be carrying you, to the next stage of life that may be a true blessing.  

That’s what He did for me.  After returning home from that adventure in Texas all those years ago, I finished my goal of getting a college degree, started a beautiful family, and began a career as a public servant. It was a great life, but it, too, was all a staging area that was preparing me for the true calling God has on my life.  

The calling to help you become the person you were created to be. To help you see the places where you can trust Jesus and see the blessings He has given you even when they didn’t feel like blessings. 

You see, He wants to be the star of your life.  He wants you to know him and trust him, even in the seasons where life hurts. Especially in the seasons where life hurts.  And He brings people into our lives to help us through those seasons. And then when it’s time to celebrate the joys that come, He uses those people to help us do that too.  

People come and people go. And they all have a purpose.  Some bring us joy, others bring us sorrow. But all help us see Jesus and His love more clearly if we will let them. 

So today, I am grateful for the opportunity to go back and look at a season of my life I’d tucked away. To be able to take it out again and see the beauty in the pain and the “mistakes” and appreciate them for what they were. Lessons. And opportunities to grow. 

Fortunately, I didn’t go through that season alone. Even though it felt like it at times, Jesus was always with me and through many of the times, He gave me someone to walk the journey with me. 

I see that season with such a different perspective than I did all those years ago. Every person in that season brought me a lesson or simply was there to bring me a smile.  Some of their names I remember, and many I don’t. A part of me would have loved to reconnect with them while I was back, but alas it wasn’t to be. What is important is that I reconnected to me and the girl who grew into a young woman that year. The lessons she learned in that distant, scary city, still serve me today and make me a better wife, mother, coach, and mentor.  

I love how God brought the story full circle and took me back to a place I’d hidden in my heart for so long to realize that the story really began there and is, in reality, beginning all over again from the same jumping-off point. 

Only this time, I’m starting a different kind of family. The kind that loves Jesus and is ready to lock arms and take the next step. The step that will help us all to know Him better and live the life of purpose and meaning that we were created for. A life of fulfillment and peace that only comes from connecting with Jesus on a deeper level than we’ve ever known. Truly, to Live Our More. 

I’m excited to embrace a whole new community of people who love Jesus and will walk with me in this next phase that seems exciting and scary all at once.  To see the shift that is coming and know it is all ok.  That I can trust Jesus in this blessing even though the journey has been painful and hasn’t really felt like a blessing.  That is until now.  

If you know someone who needs to hear this message, please share it with them so they, too, can find the blessing in their struggle.  

If you were encouraged by this message and are interested in learning more about what I do, please go to my website at vonajohnson.com.  While you are there, sign up for my newsletter that gives you inside information about the show and notifies you when shows are released. 

I want to thank you so much for stopping by today.  I know your time is valuable and I appreciate that you’ve spent some of your day with me.  It means more than you’ll ever know.

Go, be blessed, and Live Your More!