My Cancer Journey
In September of 2020, my life took a detour I hadn’t planned on taking. I was diagnosed with non-invasive breast cancer and decided to share a bit about the journey here rather than on social media. The posts are dated and if you are new to this journey with me, you may want to start at the bottom and work your way up.
Post as of December 8, 2020
So much has changed in the last month. I feel that I am fully recovered. I no longer get tired (although I haven’t tackled the big hill yet…we’ll see!) and I’m doing all the normal activities I did before. Except for the ones I am choosing not to do. Like rushing around and overbooking my day.
It’s funny how something like cancer causes us to wake up. I honestly thought I was awake. I thought as a coach I knew all the tricks and had it all figured out. But I realized now that I was holding back. I was still trying to control things in my life that God has asked me to release. Like my podcast. And my love affair with food. As I recovered from the most drastic thing that has ever happened to my body, I realized that with 60 creeping around the next corner, I really don’t have too many decades left to become my best self.
So, I’ve put the podcast on hold and I’m eating a new way that includes God in that area of life too. And it feels so freeing. I’m working on the book and am loving how it is coming together. Fortunately, I found a group that helps authors write, publish, and market their books and I feel like it is exactly what I need to get and keep me on track. I love how God brings us what we need when we need it.
The last thing that has really struck me about this experience is how quickly our bodies acclimate to such drastic changes. I honestly was starting to wonder if I would always walk around feeling like I had these awkward appendages attached to my chest. I mean they literally felt like they would fall off at any given time! (I’m sorry if that is too graphic for you!!) I am happy to report that though they still look a little weird with the stitches and all, they feel like they are a part of my body. How amazing is that? God is so good.
Just so you know, unless something changes, I won’t be posting now until sometime in the spring when I will go back to the plastic surgeon to get a touch up which will clean up some of the things from the reconstructive surgery that they can’t do until the body heals. I’ve been having fun saying, “I never dreamed I would say that I have to go to my plastic surgeon to get a nip and tuck,” but that is basically what I’ll be doing. Yes, God has a great sense of humor, doesn’t he?
Thank you for stopping by. This has been the most incredible thing in my life. Well, one of the most…I guess you’ll have to read the book to learn about the rest. Until then, take care and God Bless!
Post as of November 3, 2020
Have you ever noticed how you think you feel ok until you hit a new level of feeling well and realize that you really weren’t all that great before? That’s where I a now. For most of this journey, I mostly felt pretty good, but I really feel like I’ve turned a corner this week. Yes, I still get tired and my voice still gets weak, but I am able to be up and around more and more all the time. I even got to go to the grocery store yesterday! It may not seem like much, but after about six weeks of laying around, it was a lot of fun!
In fact, I’ve joined two new efforts this week. One is a three-week course to help balance my hormones and hopefully help me sleep better. The other is a breast cancer empowerment group for women who have experienced cancer and for those who want to avoid it. If you’d like to learn more about either, let me know. I always love to share information about how we can be proactive with our health.
The best news is that I’ve actually been working on that book. It feels like the big picture is coming together well. I’m excited to roll up my sleeves and really dig in.
I am still traveling to Sioux Falls every week to see my plastic surgeon but hopefully that, too, is drawing near to the end. I’m ready to begin doing my normal health routine again…walking, supplements, dancing. In the meantime, I’m enjoying my pass card to simply rest. Don’t ever pass up a chance to rest!
Post as of October 26, 2020
I have to say that although this has been a much greater recovery time than I had anticipated, God has blessed me in so many ways, from the excellent medical team, my amazing husband, loving family and friends, and a vast array of people who have sent words of encouragement, flowers, get well wishes, dropped off food, and mostly offered prayers on my behalf. I feel completely surrounded by the love and encouragement I have received and trust that God’s plan is bigger than mine and He still has amazing things in store for this time while my body continues to heal.
The healing process to recover from such a major surgery is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced and like so many things in my life, I’m glad I didn’t know what I was getting into beforehand as I may have chosen not to go ahead with it. I don’t ever recall feeling so helpless for such a long time. It reminds me of Paul’s comment in 2 Corinthians 12:9 where he had asked God to remove the thorn from his side and God’s response was, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
It sort of feels like God was tired of me not getting the message that I needed to trust in him more and myself less that He decided to take me off the playing field altogether so that I could really experience His grace in a way I never have before. Through the process, I’m learning to rest in the knowledge that He’s taking care of the details. Literally, for three weeks, it was all I could do to move from the bed to the couch, get a drink of water and a simple snack, talk on the phone, read, and watch tv.
I feel the greatest milestone has been to get the drain tubes removed last week so I can now shower and wear something other than hoodies every day. Oh, the small pleasures in life.
Post as of October 14, 2020
Hello! I can’t believe it’s been two weeks since I came home from the hospital. I apologize for the long span of silence, but I’m finding there is a reason they said to expect 6 to 8 weeks of recovery.
I’m trying to find a balance between the fogginess of the pain medications against the pain I experience without the meds. Some days I do better with that than others. It’s crazy how some moments I can feel almost normal again and then a short time later I can feel like I’ve been run over by a truck. I truly have greater respect for all of you who deal with chronic pain and deal with this on an ongoing basis.
I’m looking forward to my post-op visits with the doctors tomorrow. I should be able to have the drain tubes removed then and I think that will go a long way toward eliminating the pain as the incisions where the drains are often my worst pain spots. Even more important than that, I’ll get to wear real clothes again! If you’ve ever dreamed of simply wearing yoga pants and hoodies, beware, you might just get what you asked for!
I’ve been really blessed by all the calls, texts, cards, flowers, meals, and especially the wonderful care given by my husband. He’s been an amazing cook, housekeeper, and nurse. It’s been a strange time going through this during COVID as I’ve not had any visitors, and that’s ok because it allows me to not have to worry about what a mess I look like these days.
I truly thought I’d be back to a more normal routine by next week, but am already getting the sense that I’ll need to ease into that normal more gently than I’d originally thought. Fortunately, I have the luxury of doing just that.
I appreciate the thoughts and prayers. They mean everything to me!
Until next time, stay well and be safe!
Post as of October 5, 2020
Hey there! I thought I’d pop in and let you know how things are going. I’ve been doing really well with little pain and thinking this thing is a breeze! I’m now realizing that my local anesthetic is beginning to wear off and I’m feeling more like I had thought it would, uncomfortable.
I’m spending a fair amount of time watching my new favorite show, Designated Survivor, scattered with a movie here or there. I haven’t felt like I’m focused enough to read that stack of books I pulled out and put by the recliner yet. If you have any romantic comedies you can recommend I watch, please send them my way.
Thank you for all the kind words, positive thoughts, and prayers. They are all much appreciated.
Post as of October 1, 2020
Good news all around! I’m resting at home and got a good night’s sleep (not to mention a couple of decent naps.) I was doing so well yesterday that they released me later in the afternoon. The ride was comfortable, so no complaints there.
The other good news is that they got all of my cancer. It was right where they found it in the mammogram and hadn’t spread anywhere else. Thye suspected that was the case, but it sure is nice to have the confirmation.
I’ve got an excellent caregiver here at home, which helps a ton. I’m trying not to take advantage of his help, but there really is a lot I can’t do just yet.
I am feeling blessed and am so very grateful. (My writing coach probably just shuddered a little if she read this. 😊)
Life is good.
Until next time, Live Your More!
Post as of September 30, 2020
Hello, my prayer warriors! A quick update. The surgery went well. I’m tired, a bit groggy, and a little sore but good overall.
I apologize for the delay in posting. I thought I’d just hop on and give an update in the comment section, but found my website thinks I’m a bot and won’t let me comment! Oops! I’ll bet it thinks you are too if you attempted to comment. Sorry for that. I’ll try and figure that out another day.
I’m feeling blessed by all the great care I’m getting here, but am longing for home already.
Thank you for checking in on me and for the prayers! Hugs!
Post as of Sept. 28, 2020
It’s finally here. By this time tomorrow, surgery will be over and the healing process will have begun. It is strange how even though I know that this is the best route and that I’ll be fine, there is this current of energy that continually flows through me. I can feel my heart racing in my chest and my mind refuses to shut down. I feel blessed, and yet there are moments where I am overcome with emotion. Fortunately, those moments are few and far between and they don’t last long. But it is a good reminder for me that this isn’t nothing.
Having to go through this during the world of COVID makes it even more interesting. I learned that some gals have a “ta ta to the tata’s party.” In a different season of my life and an era when I didn’t have to self-isolate to avoid getting sick and postponing the surgery, I might have considered it. At this stage, a nice quiet weekend at home was very appropriate. I have to say it is strange to know that I will be saying goodbye to the girls soon.
I’ll hop on and let you know how things go as soon as I can without embarrassing myself posting while under the influence of painkillers.
Thanks again for stopping by. The new and improved version of me will be back in a day or two!
Post as of Sept. 24, 2020
Although I call this my cancer journey, it really doesn’t feel right to call it that for two reasons. First, I know there are hundreds, if not thousands, of people who are in this stage of a diagnosis right now who don’t have the same positive prognosis as I do.
I have high-level DCIS which is a stage “0” cancer. That means we caught it really early and for that I thank God. And mammograms. I am so grateful for the amazing technology we have in radiology to catch cancer this early in the game.
The other reason I hesitate to call it a cancer journey is that mine will be so short. I had my biopsy on September 9, got my diagnosis on September 16, had a meeting with not one but four breast cancer specialists on September 21, and will have my surgery on September 29. I’m guessing that may very well be the shortest breast cancer journey ever.
You see, I am having a double mastectomy, so will require no radiation, no chemo, no hormone treatment, and will not have to do mammograms ever again. I truly feel blessed. And the best part is the plastic surgeon will do reconstructive surgery the same day so other than the healing time my body will need, once it is all over, I’ll be done barring any complications.
I’m writing this blog post mostly so that people can stay informed during my recovery. I’ll add to the top of this post as I’m able or there is something to share. I’m blessed with so many amazing people in my life and wanted a quick easy way for you to check-in and see what is happening. This was my answer to that.
So thanks for checking on me! I really appreciate all the love and just want to remind you or your loved one if this doesn’t apply to you, to go get your mammogram. It really is worth the inconvenience and really can save lives.
Feel free to leave a comment or ask any questions you may have in the comment section below. I’ll answer when I can.
If you are interested in the first part of the journey, you can listen to the episode of Longing for More titled, Permission to Pause, or you can read the blog by the same name.
Hugs!