I’m not a coffee drinker. But most adults I know are. Some are pretty serious about the stuff. It has to be black. And Strong. If it’s watered down enough for someone like me, they don’t want anything to do with it. You may be one of those people…I’ll bet you know someone who is if you aren’t.  

Today as we continue the conversation about creating a new normal, I want to share some thoughts on the risks of watering down your faith, and even your life, too much.

You’re probably wondering what drinking dark coffee has to do with creating meaningful connections. The way I see it, people who are purists about their coffee aren’t willing to give up their standards about something they care very much about. 

In this episode, I am going to make the case that we as Christians, need to be purists about our faith and not be willing to give up our standards about who Jesus is and what he means in our lives.

As you know I’ve been working on developing a new website. Which means I’ve spent a ton of time on the phone getting technical support. I just gotta say that the support team at Blue Host and Blue Sky are amazing. I’ve had some great help and some really great conversations these last few weeks.

But one stands out above the rest. The young many was looking at my new website and was asking just what it is I do. I explained how I am a Christian life coach and how I help people transition from longing for more peace and fulfillment to living it.

He came back with a book he’d read that he felt was similar. I don’t even remember the name but it sounded pretty good. It was basically what I do from a secular standpoint. I said that was all good, but I already have a book with all the best advice that I use as my guidebook. 

His answer was that was good, but his book stripped out all the religion and mention of God and such so it would be more palatable for non-believers to accept. If he was trying to convince me to buy the book, that pretty much clinched that I wouldn’t.  

To be honest, I’ve had enough of that and I realized that is exactly why we are where we are today. Too many people want what God offers, they just want to strip all the Jesus and Bible references away because it will be easier for themselves others to swallow. 

Kind of like that coffee I mentioned earlier.  But you and I both know if we water it down too much, it isn’t coffee anymore, is it? It’s just flavored water.

So I get not leading with hitting someone over the head with scripture and the message of sin and salvation, but I also believe it has to be a part of the conversation sooner rather than later. 

I’ve been talking regularly about how we are called to love one another like Christ loves us, but feel that I’ve only just scratched the surface there. That may be too vague for some and may be hard to do because they aren’t sure exactly what that means. Especially since that is the message of the world. Just be nice and the world will be a better place. But if we’re being truthful, that message is too watered down. It misses the real point of the matter. 

Trust me. I’ve been thinking a lot about this topic of being kind and loving to others, essentially what being a good neighbor without watering down our faith looks like lately. 

And then I stumbled across the movie, A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood, about Mr. Rogers and his TV program for kids. In the movie, I learned much about a man I knew little about. Though the critics make it clear it veered from the true story in some key areas, the parts that are true clearly demonstrated that the man knew how to live out his values. He made his life out of loving others, especially children, and showing them how to express their feelings and emotions. He taught them how to be good neighbors. In fact, he exemplified what I believe the Bible shows us we need to do to be a good neighbor. 

To forgive.

To be kind.

To be present with the people God brings to us.

And to love unconditionally.

It’s a great movie about accepting who we are and how we’ve gotten to be where we are. I love how he invites people to take a full minute “to think of the people who loved us into being.” After doing so at his acceptance speech when he received his Lifetime Achievement Award at the Emmy’s, he talked about how proud those people the attendees remembered during that minute would be to be remembered in such a way. 

I believe we all need more people like Mr. Rogers in our lives. We need people to remind us to love and, more importantly, to forgive. The bible is full of stories showing us how to forgive, but even if you never crack open a bible, I believe our world would change if we all would just show love, concern, and compassion for the people God brings into our lives. To simply be present with them without all the many distractions. To make meaningful connections. Maybe even have a cup of coffee with them and learn about their dreams and their disappointments in life. 

Yes, even when we know someone well and love them, we will have angry feelings at times. And no, we are not supposed to ignore them or pretend they aren’t there. But we can learn to redirect our anger and not lash out against others. We get to choose how we respond and flying off the handle, shouting, or even grumbling at someone else will not make the situation better. 

It takes practice, but we can learn to funnel our anger and frustration away from others and toward things that cannot be damaged by our emotions. There will always be times when we simply cannot control our reaction and will take our anger out on someone, but when we do, we can recover by asking for forgiveness.

The conversation that can follow such a gesture can completely change the relationship for the better and turn a stressed and uncomfortable exchange into a friendly and easy conversation. I know first hand the difference it can make.  

And as evidenced by the characters in the movie, it is never too late to take that step so long as the person is still alive. Of course, we don’t know how long that will be, do we? I love how it is stated in Psalm 91:12, “Teach us to realize the brevity of life so that we may grow in wisdom.” NLT

There is nothing like a sudden life-threatening illness or injury to show us how short life can be and how important it is to reconnect with those people who’ve we have broken relationships with. The same goes for making new meaningful connections with people we’ve never taken the time to connect with before. 

You see, as I mentioned in a recent show, sometimes we are the only face of God others will see. We can win them over to him, not by waving a Bible in their face, but by paying his forgiveness forward and acting in a manner that will make him proud.

If you’ve downloaded your guide to creating a new normal already, you know there are questions that will help you get grounded in who you are and what you value. There are also questions that will help you think about what you need to let go of and who you need to forgive. 

Please do not pass over these questions.  If you’ve been hurt by someone, the answers to these questions can be difficult. But you will only be making a superficial change in your life if you aren’t willing to do the hard work and find forgiveness in your heart for those who have hurt you in the past or are still hurting you today.

Forgiveness does not mean you have to allow someone to continue to harm you. It means you let go of the grudge you are holding while still setting up appropriate boundaries to keep yourself safe.  

Many times it isn’t someone else we need to forgive, but rather ourselves. We can be pretty hard on ourselves for making unwise decisions, for allowing others who proved to be hurtful into our hearts, and for making mistakes. But God has forgiven you and you must too. It is the only path to true freedom and true peace. 

If you gloss over this step, your new normal won’t be much improved over your old normal. You’ll continue to try and prove to everyone that you are enough. That you can do it all. That you are in control. 

The reality is that you have nothing to prove to anyone. God created you. And you are enough…exactly the way you are. And you can do all things, but only with the strength that comes through him. And you are in control…of your responses…of your choices…of your actions. 

You can’t control the outcome of situations, but if you can figure out who you are, what you value, and then get your life in alignment with your purpose, you will live a life of fulfillment and peace.

If you continue to try and force things to happen your way, you will experience stress, overwhelm, and emptiness. 

I know because I’ve been there. But I created a new normal and I’m so glad I did. 

So as you continue this journey with me, you get to make it as strong or as weak as you like. But be careful not to water it down too much or it won’t have much meaning for you. And it won’t last. Only when you are in full alignment with your values will you have full peace and fulfillment. 

And when you have that peace and fulfillment, you will be able to make more meaningful connections and can be a much better neighbor. 

Thank you for stopping by today. It means so much to me that you are here. If you found value in this conversation, I hope you will download the free guide from the link provided, and if you know someone who can benefit from this conversation that you will share it with them.  

There is no reason we shouldn’t all be loving our lives full of joy and contentment. Or, as I prefer to call it, living our more. 

Come back in the weeks to come for more thoughts on how to do just that. In the meantime, go, be blessed, stay safe, and live your more!