Living a Grace-Full Life

When you hear the word graceful, what comes to mind? Generally, we think of things that are elegant and beautiful. Maybe you think of a ballerina, a star athlete making a beautiful catch, or even a bird in flight. If I’m being honest, no one has ever accused me of being graceful. When I took dance when I was about 5 or 6, I got a trophy for best attendance, and to this day though I love to dance, it’s awkward when I do so without a really good dance partner leading me. 

But it’s ok that I’m not graceful in those terms, because I have something even better. I am living a life that is full of grace. I’ll bet you are too whether you are aware of it or not. Sometimes we have to really watch for it and other times it’s impossible to miss. I’m convinced that God is using a recent cancer diagnosis to show me how much grace or undeserved blessings he has given me and to prove that His grace truly is enough for me.  I’m going to dig a little deeper into this today.  I hope you’ll join me. 

When I recorded my last episode titled, Permission to Pause, over a month ago I talked about how I had been diagnosed with breast cancer and was going to have a simple surgery that would have me out of commission for a few days. I shared how I was using the experience as an opportunity to take some time off and write my book. It seemed like a reasonable plan. The problem was, as is often the case in life, I had no idea what was coming my way.

I’ve always been a roll with the flow kind of girl, but this time it was different. I was totally caught off guard. You see, after promising that I would be back after a 30-day break to focus on healing my body and writing my book, I learned that the lumpectomy was not a good solution for me. Instead, I would require a mastectomy to ensure all of the cancer would be removed.  And after weighing all the options, I chose to have a bilateral mastectomy. 

As you can imagine, my three or four days of recovery turned into six to eight weeks for my body to heal fully. As the date I had promised to release a show came and went, I struggled with not being able to live up to my commitment to my listeners. I realized I simply could not honor the arbitrary deadline I had set for myself. And that was hard for me. 

Even harder was the realization that I haven’t even touched the book I had committed to working on during this timeframe. As I lay there without even enough energy to beat myself up about it, I realized that God in His wisdom could see the big picture and He knew that both of those activities would be completed when their time was right. You see, He had a whole new chapter I’m my life that needed to be written. He showed me how I needed to experience the disappointment, the frustration and even the joy of my cancer journey before my story could be complete. 

You see, the book is all about looking at things from a godly perspective. But I had yet to know what it feels like to have a serious illness. I’m guessing there are many who would say I still haven’t because my cancer was caught so early and has been removed. I realize I’m extremely blessed because not every woman who gets a breast cancer diagnosis knows she will walk out of the hospital cancer-free. Talk about living a grace-full life. When talking with women who have had to endure the rigors of chemo and or radiation, I feel almost embarrassed because I am getting off so easily.

We all know someone who has fought the battle for months or years and came out triumphant. We also know of others who have lost the battle. My heart breaks for every one of them and their families, but the reality is, that I can’t compare my journey with theirs. Just as you can’t compare your life with someone else’s. In fact, not one of us can compare any of our life stories against any other because we are all created uniquely to fulfill our own purpose in life. Of course, we can swap stories and we absolutely should use our experiences to support one another, but each and every one of us has our own path to walk and our own experience to live. God created that path while we were still being formed in our mother’s womb and knows exactly what is coming next for each one of us. 

But there are no guarantees, are there? Even though it is statistically almost impossible for me to get breast cancer again, it doesn’t mean it can’t find its way into another place in my body or that there won’t be something different that can completely disrupt or cut my life short.  I could have a heart attack, a car accident, have a serious reaction to COVID, or any of a million other things that could happen. 

But as Christians, we don’t have to worry about any of that. We can rest in the knowledge that God is always with us and when this life on earth is over, He will continue to be with us throughout eternity.  We have nothing to fear and everything to be grateful for.

This experience has shown me all the beautiful people in my life who love and care for me in so many ways. Just thinking about the number of people who have prayed for my healing is humbling.  I had an awesome medical team, wonderful friends and family, and especially an amazing husband by my side caring for my every need along the way. I know that my life is full of grace and I am so very blessed.  

I hope you can take a few minutes to realize where you, too, are living a grace-full life. When you do, take a minute to thank your heavenly father for all of your unmerited gifts.  And while you are at it, I encourage you to give yourself permission to pause to do the things your soul is longing for. You just never know when something can change and you won’t be able to do it when you thought you would. 

In the meantime, I’m excited to be able to work on filling my Living Your Faith Mastermind and getting back to coaching my one-on-one clients.  That is sufficient for me now and as I continue to gain strength, I know that I will resume my writing and producing the podcast when the time is right. I did, however, learn not to lock in a date just yet. It will happen when it is time to happen. 

So today, I am resting in God’s strength knowing that his grace is sufficient for me.  I don’t need to worry about how someone else’s health journey went or what the experts say about how I should be meeting deadlines to be successful.  All I need to do right now is rest in the Lord and know that like everything, He’s got this. That is what living my faith looks like for me this season and I feel very empowered to give myself permission to continue hitting that pause button a little bit longer. 

Oh, I know that I’m still not as graceful as I’d like to be, but I truly am living a grace-full life. Where can you be giving yourself permission to do what your soul or maybe even your body is longing for? Can you trust God enough to say yes to that longing and know that it will be ok? I certainly hope so.  If not, go check out the many resources on my website at vonajohnson.com and see if there is something there that might help you begin. 

If you are interested in taking action and getting accountability and support to help you live out your faith in a grace-full life, check out the mastermind under the work with me tab. If you are listening as this show is released we are starting a new group in the first week of November 2020. If you are listening later, apply now and be ready for when the next group starts in January.