It was such a disappointment. I’d recently returned home from Boston, a city that I’d fallen in love with and where my husband and I had spent part of our honeymoon. I loved the history, the architecture, the Irish Pubs, the wonderful mix of quaint and cosmopolitan. In fact, I loved it so much I purchased a Boston Common at Twilight poster from the Museum of Fine Arts. I was so excited and I couldn’t wait to have it framed.
When I picked up the professionally framed poster, tears of anger and frustration pooled in my eyes as I gazed at my carefully chosen memento of my favorite city. You see, the store I had taken it to have it framed hadn’t centered the poster when they mounted it. It was about a half-inch off on one side. What was I to do? Order a new poster and start over? Demand they cut off an equal amount on the other side so the wording was centered? I truly was beside myself over this dilemma.
As I agonized of this glaring error that had ruined my prized poster, one of my co-workers, a dear friend whose sage advice I’d sought out more than once said, “You know there is only one person who is perfect.” I had to sit on that for a long time before I realized that she was right and the imperfect poster was just one example of how we and all our fellow sojourners are not perfect and can never really hope to be.
The poster still hangs in one of my guest bedrooms and honestly, I haven’t thought about that situation for over 25 years.
In what areas of your life are you seeking perfection and falling short? Do you get angry with the shortcomings of co-workers, business people, your spouse, or children? Do you beat yourself up for not living up to your own expectations?
The reason I bring this up today is to share that same message with you that my co-worker did with me that day so long ago. We are all imperfect beings. Jesus is still the only person who walked this earth who was perfect. And we need to start allowing ourselves and others more grace for the moment when we or someone in our lives fall short of our expectations.
I don’t know about you, but I’ve been falling short of my expectations a LOT lately. I do it every year, I let myself let go of my generally pretty clean eating habits and allow myself to eat whatever I want over the holidays. But for some reason, these last couple of years I’ve started being lenient with myself much earlier – like in early the fall – instead of waiting for Thanksgiving. I usually really let go in short bursts of a day or two as parties and gatherings happen, but this year we were blessed to have family around literally for ten days. I loved every minute of it and prepared all our family’s favorite meals. I ate more carbs, more cookies, Chex mix, and drank more wine and beer than I have in ages. And my scale and my jeans are reminding me of the consequences of taking that action.
Now I consciously chose to do that knowing what the end result would be, but I seem to be having a harder time than usual getting back on track again. I’m finding it nearly impossible to quit eating the junk food that I usually only allow myself on a limited basis. It reminds me of the verse in Romans 7 starting at verse 15 where it says, “I don’t understand myself at all, for I really want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do the very thing I hate. I know perfectly well what I am doing is wrong, and my bad conscience shows that I agree the law is good. But I can’t help myself, because it is sin inside of me that makes me do these evil things.”
What we learn from this is that knowledge is not the answer, that trying to do it with our own strength won’t work, and that just because I am a Christian, sin, and temptation doesn’t stop knocking at my door. I love that the footnote in my New Living Translation says that, giving our life to Christ takes a moment of faith, but becoming like Christ takes a lifetime of practice. No one in the world is innocent and no one deserves to be saved. All of us must depend totally on the work of Jesus to be saved. We aren’t perfect and we can’t do it alone. Just like I simply cannot rely on all my knowledge to eat healthier.
So every day I tell myself that this is the day I’m going to do better. And every day I fall short. I eat the candy – the chips – the pizza. It’s like Paul is talking about in Romans, I can’t help myself! I am getting frustrated with my lack of commitment to this goal and the effort to make the changes I know will work.
Can you relate? If not, good for you! I admire you for your discipline. If you can relate, I’m going to ask you to keep in mind that whatever it is you are trying to change, it doesn’t have to be perfect. You don’t have to be perfect.
Simply make small, doable changes each day and add to that as you go along. Do the best you can and forgive yourself when you don’t meet your expectations. Stop judging yourself, hating your body, and engaging in negative self-talk. It isn’t helping. In fact is hurts your progress instead of helping.
I find that the best way for me to get back on track with my eating is to do my 14-day cleanse. It’s a quick way to stop the cravings, lose a few pounds, and start feeling really great again. I always feel lighter and more energized when I do it and it is the perfect (can I really use that word here??) way to start the new year! It helps to remove the toxins from all the indulging and gives my body a fresh start.
This year I am offering my cleanse as a group program and I hope you will consider joining me. It isn’t about losing weight so much as getting healthy and fueling our body with foods that nourish rather than harm us. It starts on January 21 and goes for 21 days. During that time we will eat real food, but cut out many that may be causing problems that you might not even be aware are related to the foods you eat. We then add food back into our diet one at a time to see the effect each has on our body. It’s pretty amazing how quickly you can find what foods cause you to be gassy, bloated, or fatigued when you go through this process.
What sets my cleanse apart from others you ask? Besides not having to purchase any supplements or follow any strict routines, you get to eat real foods. Yes, we eliminate a number of food groups, but it only for a period of about ten days and then you start adding them back in again. If you don’t like something, you don’t have to eat it. It’s as simple as that.
More importantly, I will share ideas on how to detox other areas of your life. I’ll be sharing how to clear your mind so you can listen to God’s will for you and how to slow down and really enjoy your day without the hurry and hustle we are so used to. We’ll discuss how to let go of judgment and the drive we have for perfection.
I will also share scriptures with the group as well as tips on how to eat that will benefit you well beyond the 21-day jump start which includes the 14-day cleanse and an additional week for the introduction of foods. No rules, no restrictions, just ideas you can pick and chose from to help incorporate healthier habits into your lifestyle. You know, the less than perfect one we all enjoy.
Getting back to the poster I mentioned earlier. I decided it would be fun to take a picture of it to post with the blog that corresponds to this episode. I had to laugh at myself because when I went to take a picture of it, I realized that I can’t even tell that it isn’t cut with equal borders on both sides. It’s ironic that a problem that was so paramount in my world at the time has totally ceased to be a problem for me at all.
Once again, a different perspective on life and time has erased that concern.
Can you think of times in your life when you got stuck on something that you felt needed to be perfect, but wasn’t? How did you get past it? Or did you? I know sometimes we let those things get us so worked up that we can stew on them for days. Remind me to tell you about our kitchen cabinets someday. That was another one of those situations that I’m not proud of but did eventually get past.
Looking back, I now realize that the big different for me is my faith that things work out for good and that things do not have to perfectly live up to my expectations. Yes, it is good to plan and strive for nice things, but we don’t have to jeopardize relationships to have everything the way we want them. We need to allow room for miscommunications and for others to fall short of our expectations once in a while. Look at it from the perspective of what is more important, a perfect house, website, or body or peace of mind and healthy relationships? Peace of mind and healthy relationships win out for me every time.
As I sign off today I want to thank you for reading this blog. I know you have a lot of choices for what to do with your valuable time. I appreciate that you chose to spend it with me. If you know of someone who would benefit from this message, please share it with them. It’s also available in podcast form on my website if you prefer.
If you are interested in learning more about my group program or one on one coaching to get your year off on the right foot, send me a message and let’s visit. Thank you and have a blessed, peace-filled 2019!