Have you ever had someone react to something you said so strongly that if you didn’t know better you would be certain they were in a different conversation or were talking to someone else? I had that experience a while back and I have to admit it shook me up – a lot. I had posted something on Facebook and I thought their first response was in agreement with me even though it was stronger than I might have worded it. When I replied, they said some pretty hateful remarks and made it very clear that their words were directed at me specifically. I was stunned to realize that someone could take the words I had meant for encouragement and translate them to be essentially evil.

Once I got over the shock and disbelief I started to realize that something I had said in my post had triggered memories of a particularly bad experience in the commenter’s past. I am not a therapist and don’t pretend to be one, but it was clear they were not on the same page as I was on and it was a good lesson for me to be aware that I cannot predict how anyone will react to my words, whether spoken or written, no matter what my intent. I can, however, choose my response carefully so as to avoid further antagonizing the person. In this situation, I quickly realized that I was not changing their mind about who I am, so I exited the conversation.

Although the introvert in me wanted to go hide and forget this idea of putting myself out there to help others, I knew that was not the path for me and that I needed to brush this experience off and move on. I had also been aware for some time that our world had become a place where people were increasingly angry and threatening to others, but until that moment, that hatred had not been directed at me. It helped me become more aware of how I respond to people in my life and helped me think about whether I, too, take things out of context and respond inappropriately.

My words of encouragement to you if you should find yourself in a similar situation are as follows:

• Remember that the individual is reacting to something in their past and that it is really more about them than it is about you.
• You will feel better about yourself in the end if you don’t let them drag you into their negative way of dealing with life.
• As much as you want the world to view you in the most positive light, not everyone will understand you or even like you. Accept it and move on.
• Always stay focused on your purpose and don’t let someone else’s mission take you off track. Don’t let someone else’s mess become your mess.

It’s a scary world out there and there are people who are on such an entirely different page from ours, we can’t even imagine why they would respond to us the way they do. Particularly now that we have access to such a larger audience than ever before. Our challenge is to determine if it is someone we want to invest the time in and find out where they are coming from or if we just need to walk away. In reality, there are times we will never know what triggered their response and that is ok. Stay true to yourself and love them where they are.