It’s an epidemic. Social media is everywhere and it seems everyone is connected and everyone is scrambling to get the most likes, comments, and exposure for our photos and messages these days. None of us are immune to it. We post on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn and Twitter hoping to attract new followers whether it’s for personal connections or for business purposes. Having the largest number of followers is a status symbol and going viral is up there with winning the lottery.

Oh, there are a few people who are immune to it all, but I can number the people I know personally who are not caught in this snare on one hand.  But it is’t just social media that has us entrapped, is it?  Every where we turn we can see where we are seeking approval from others. Whether it be the way we dress, the car we drive, how well our children behave, we are all concerned about how the world looks at us and what they think.   

In the interest of full disclosure, this concept of Embracing Obscurity is not my own idea.  In fact, I just read the book by the same name with the tag line of, “Becoming Nothing in Light of God’s Everything.”  I love that the author is writing under the name of Anonymous.  That is truly living in integrity, isn’t it?  Anyway, if you have’t read this gem, I highly encourage it,  There are wonderful examples of how God uses ordinary every day people to fulfill his purposes in the Bible and how He continues to do so today,  

Before you decide this isn’t for you and that none of the things I just listed matter to you, please listen to some other types of ways people seek approval from others.  The author lists the following.  I’d be curious to know if you relate to any of these:

1. The Outdoor Adventurer – This person doesn’t care about the normal standards for success: education, job, money, etc. Instead he works so he can play, making just enough money to take the next adventure.  Soon he is so wrapped up in the admiration he gets from others for his unique life, he can’t see himself walking away from this lifestyle.
2. The Up and Coming Exec – This person is well educated and is quite successful in their chosen career.  They have all of the luxuries of life, but would sense a huge loss of identity if he no longer received the recognition or status of his life. 
3. Your New Best Friend – This person takes great pride in being everyone’s friend. She works hard to be likable and is a master at making others feel important and appreciated. Although that all sounds good, she defines who she is by the successes of her relationships and whether people like her, want to be near her, or want to be her friend. 
4. Pastor of a Large Church – This person takes pride in the congregation he has built and receives all of his identity in the size of his church and the efforts he has made to make it grow. He has lost sight of the work that God is doing through him and instead is taking the credit for the church’s success.  
5. Creative Working Mom – You may recognize this person as your typical super mom.  She has to work, but she does an excellent job of keeping balance in her life and does it all seemingly effortlessly.  On occasion she gets the sense that something is missing in her life and she’s beginning to worry that she’s not really the awesome person that everyone thinks she is. 
6. Aspiring Pro – This person can be really good at a sport, music, dancing, surfing, you name it. They are passionate about pursuing their given talents, but often have a need for the admiration from others and a need for the money, fame, respect, or validation of others. He has a strong need to prove himself.
7. Christian Writer/Speaker – This person spends much of her time studying and teaching the Bible.  On the surface, she may look like she’s immune to the pride that grips us all, but in reality, she finds herself comparing herself to others who may do what she does but better, or she may feel very ordinary when she realizes how many others are doing what she does. 
8. The Pretty Girl. This person, (and it doesn’t have be a girl you know), is very beautiful.  Maybe even uncommonly beautiful.  She may not have been very good in school but learned quickly that she got a ton of positive attention she needed by looking good. So she got wrapped up in making sure she looked pulled together and polished every day.  Even now, many years later, she is concerned that others will think she looks pretty and secretly craves others to feel jealous when they see her.  

As you can see, pride takes many forms.  We each have our own version of it.  It may be one of these, a combination of two or more, or something completely different.  The reality is that we are almost all concerned about what others think of us and wrap our identity in our own need to feel good about ourselves based on the reaction of others.  I have to admit I’m amazed at how many of these types I related to and how programed I am to respond to other’s reactions now that I am aware of this.   

Before I go on, I feel I need to share that I am not judging here.  As I said, I can relate to so many of these scenarios. For me, it is more about awareness and my true intent when I do things. For me personally, it is the struggle between marketing myself and being humble. 

I mean, God calls us to be humble, right?  How is plastering pictures of ourselves on social media being humble?  I think that is a very good question. One I’ve struggled with for some time both in my personal life and in my business.  And I’ve wavered between sharing consistency and then not at all for months, depending on where my heart leads me.

A while back I hired a professional photographer to do a shoot to help me upscale my branding. She did a beautiful job, but sometimes when I post one of the pictures, I feel a resistance to the idea.  It feels a lot like saying, “look at me!“ Something I’ve never been comfortable with.  But then I had a realization that changed everything. 

I came to understand that God has put me where I am to share a message that will bring people back to him.  He wants me to reflect His love and his light so that others can see him through me.  That can’t happen if I’m being so wrapped up in what others think about me that I don’t put myself out there. 

Fortunately, with some excellent coaching, I’ve been able to reframe that from “look at me” to “look at what God is creating for or through me!” The shift has been subtle, but very real. In fact my coach gave me an excellent frame of reference the other day that is a true game changer.  He pointed out that as Christians, we are to act as prisms. Alone, we have no light source, but when we are reflecting God’s light, we create a beautiful rainbow.  

He went on to remind me to simply stay plugged into my motives when I take an action.  If I think in terms of if I am doing something to fuel my own pride and need for attention I may want to hold back from that action, but if I am truly doing the action to point to God’s glory, I should feel compelled to proceed.  

I find that if I check in every time I do a post and ask, “Is this to further me or is it to glorify God?” I can remain humble.  If and when God decides to elevate me, it will be to serve His purposes and not my own.  Its a lot like using the old, WWJD, concept.  What would Jesus do?  Would he (or truly, did he) hide out and avoid the crowds, or did he share the message with he people who gathered around him? 

Don’t get me wrong, I am not in any way comparing myself to Jesus, but I do believe that if I trust in His guidance and make my actions be about Him and not me, He will take it from there. I don’t need to fear exposure, nor do I need to seek fame. It will all work out exactly as He wills it to.  By doing so, I will be living out my purpose.  If God has placed me in a place of influence and I waste that opportunity, is that not worse than going too far with reaching out beyond our scope a bit?  I love this advice that is offered in the book Embracing Obscurity. It says, 

• • My purpose is not to praise myself.
  • My purpose is not to make my name great.
  • My purpose is not to get rich.
  • My purpose is not to gain authority over others for my ego’s sake.
  • My purpose is not to leave brothers and sisters in the dust of my ambition.
  • My purpose is not to make others feel small.
  • My purpose is not to become self-sufficient.
  • My purpose is not to earn a five-star rating from the masses. 

He goes on to talk about how if we get tied up in the ratings or the comparison of what we do against what others do, we get tied up in the competition instead of working together for the common goal which is God’s glory.  We either get all self satisfied or we fall into the trap of having pity on ourselves or doubt our purpose. 

The author then points us to Galatians 6:4-5 which says, “Be sure to do what you should, for then you will enjoy the personal satisfaction of having done your work well, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else. For we are each responsible for our own conduct.” 

Yes, it is good to see what others are doing.  We can even model ourselves after others who follow Jesus and His ways, but at the end of the day, we are only responsible for our own actions and using the gifts we’ve been given to the best of our ability.  When we don’t, we lose our focus on our own path and we get lost.  

As I wrap up today, I want to conclude with what the author of Embracing Obscurity says about our purpose in the spotlight. The three purposes are to make God’s name great, to advance His kingdom on Earth, and to serve others. These are our purposes whether we are in the spotlight or not. If we embrace them and seek how we can carry them out where God has planted us in this moment, we will be fulfilling our purpose.  And God may rise you above obscurity or He may not. But the freedom in knowing that it is up to Him and not us is so very freeing.  

As you’ve probably guessed, I’ve only given a quick summary of a couple of pieces of the book, Embracing Obscurity.  If this is something that interests you, I highly encourage you to read it for yourself.  It is so contrary to what the world’s view is today, but if you truly believe that God provides for us and wants what is best for us in all situations, you will want to trust Him on this and allow Him to exalt you, if and when the time is right.  

The peace that comes from that knowledge and the knowing that I am exactly where I need to be at this moment is so real, I can feel it.  I hope you can too. 

Thank you so much for reading this blog post today.  Please don’t translate it to mean that you should stop putting yourself out there. Rather, follow where the Holy Spirit guides you.  You will be blessed, I promise.

If you know someone who you think would be blessed by this message, please share it with them.  I would be so grateful.  

I pray that you have an amazing week.  Go, ask God what he’s calling you to today, be blessed, and live your more!