Don’t you love it when a child says something so simple, but when you really think about it has a deep meaning and becomes a prevalent thought for days on end? My three-year-old grandson has this thing he does. Every once in a while he will stop whatever he’s doing and simply ask, “Are you happy, Nona?” Now, I know that most of the time he asks its because he has done something that he knows he could be in trouble for, and this is his way of heading off being chastised for it. But other times it seems so random.
Has he seen something in my face that makes him think I’m not happy? Is he feeling a sense of frustration of disappointment in me that even I am unaware of? I’m not really sure. Mostly I think it’s fascinating that a three-year-old is sensitive and caring enough to even ask others if they are happy.
I’m fascinated because I’d been thinking of this topic for the show all week long and then my husband returned from a conference where happiness was the main focus. There were people there speaking who called themselves the Chief Happiness Officer. People who have spent their entire career focused on keeping their teams happy as the primary goal.
I question whether it is realistic to make sure that everyone at the organization is happy all the time. Is that even possible? I think not. In fact, I don’t even think it is something we should strive for because to improve our station in life, we need to feel some tension between happiness or contentment and the need for something more. It’s in that longing that spurs us to take action that will change our lives and draw us to our true purpose in life.
Think about that last time you had the sense that something was missing in your life. Did you push it away or did you take a minute and try to figure out what it is that you might be lacking? So many of us just ignore that sense that there should be more. We keep ourselves so busy that we don’t have time to dwell on it, and then we begin to have stress and anxiety and can’t figure out why.
What if, instead of ignoring that feeling, we began to get curious about where it is coming from and considered it a hint from God that He wants us to take some action. The restlessness or dissatisfaction is a clue rather than an annoyance. With that concept in mind, think of a recent time when you felt restless or dissatisfied. What could God have been trying to say to you at that point? For me, I’ve had this cloud of restlessness and sense of something missing on my heart for months. Every once in a while I will have this breakthrough in a coaching session and think, “Finally, I’ve found the missing piece. I can move on.” But then it will kick in again.
It’s sort of like playing a game. Regardless of what kind of game it is, we take turns, and depending on the game and the rules, we only find out how far we move at each turn. We don’t get to see what will happen prior to our next turn and we never get to see how it ends until we’ve gone through each step along the way. So what if we considered this discontentment as the clue that it’s time to make a move? It might mean a change in our health routine so we feel better. Or it could mean a change in how we perceive a situation so we can get along with our neighbor better. Or maybe it is taking some training so we can perform our work more efficiently. Regardless, we just keep improving along the way so that we continue upgrading our situation and subsequently our lives.
I love how Matthew Kelly describes it in his book, The Rhythm of Life. He says, “Our bodies need regular exercise and a balanced diet, and so do our minds. You have a legitimate need to nourish your mind. If you choose the right diet of the mind, your life will be directed by ideas of excellence and greatness. If you allow the media and secular culture to select your intellectual diet, your life will be formed by distraction and mediocrity.”
This is actually true for not only our body and our mind, but it is true for our heart and our soul. We have a need to fulfill each of these aspects of our lives and these needs change throughout our lives. But, regardless of how we fulfill these needs, we must fill them to have lasting joy in our lives. Sadly, the crazy busy lives we lead keep us from hearing that longing in our soul that will lead us to that joy. There is nothing like a healthy dose of peace and quiet each morning to really get grounded in what you need to be nourished each day.
We have so many choices and opportunities constantly vying for our attention each day. The only way to really know which is best for us is to find some quiet time to listen to our heart, mind, body, and soul each on a consistent basis. The beauty of all of this is that we already have everything we need to succeed within us. We simply must be still so we can listen to God’s whisper in our ear and honor the truth that is within us.
Matthew Kelly goes on to say, “We all have needs. We need air to breathe, water to drink, and food to eat. We need to love and be loved We need to accept and appreciate others and be accepted and appreciated by others. We need to learn, to change, and to grow. We need to remember who we truly are and what matters most. We need.” Later he goes on to say, “Life should be a rich and rewarding experience. Our lives should be filled with moments of wonder and inspiration. Life is an expression of abundance and should be lived passionately. Know your needs.”
The problem is that we do not fulfill or true needs because we are too busy trying to pursue our wants. We buy more, travel more, seek more power, change our hairstyle, our wardrobe, virtually anything to avoid taking care of the things we really need. The truth is, we will never be able to fill what we need with the things we want. And we will never really be fulfilled until we get what we need. So many of us waste our lives pursuing things that cannot satisfy believing they will bring us happiness when they cannot possibly do that.
Our soul longs for the things of meaning for our lives. The things that satisfy our deepest desires. Unless we are making progress toward those desires, we will have that sense of dissatisfaction. If we ignore the longing long enough we will begin to experience dis-ease. Over the long term, our bodies will manifest the need for more in various ways that will if not properly nourished, eventually turn into chronic pain and illness.
This longing for more is very real. God laid that deep desire in your heart for a reason. Please don’t ignore it. It will take courage to step into the pursuit of it, especially because you won’t see what the end looks like when you begin the journey. But this is where you get to test your faith. To trust in God and his providence. The Bible tells us to fear not 365 times. I don’t think that it is a coincidence that the number of times corresponds to the number of days in a year. Remember, God himself is right there beside you each step of the way. So stop chasing after the things you want that have no lasting value. Instead, pursue the things you need and you will have a peaceful, fulfilling life.
So in answer to my grandson’s question, “Nona, are you happy?” The answer is, “Yes. I am so very happy. But it isn’t because I have so many things that I want, but that I’ve found the answer to seeking the things I need.” One of which is spending quality time with him on a regular basis. Somehow happy doesn’t seem like a big enough word for it. But that, my friend, is a topic for another day.
During May of 2019, we are celebrating the 50th episode of this podcast and concluding the first year of production. To celebrate, I am offering a free coaching session to help you to take the first step in finding out what your soul is longing for. Schedule your 30-minute session today to find out what needs nourishment in your life. The link to schedule The First Step session is in the show notes or, you can find a link at vonajohnson.com.
Thank you for stopping by today. I know how valuable your time is and I appreciate you spending time with me. If you know someone who might be encouraged by this message or might be interested in the free coaching session to determine what’s missing in their life, I ask that you please share it with them. Of course, I’d love it if you would take me up on that offer too. It truly is a gift with no strings attached. It’s my way of saying thank you for listening.
With that, I wlll say goodbye. Have a blessed week and go, live your More!
But more on that later.
