I will be reuniting with my high school classmates soon and it’s hard to believe it’s been a little over 40 years since we spent our last time together as a group, finishing up classes, making plans, and celebrating the beginning of the rest of our lives. It’s incredible to think about how the years have flown by. At the time we were all so focused on our dreams for the future. We concentrated on where each one of us would end up living and what we’d be doing over the next months and years. But honestly, I don’t know that any of us gave an ounce of thought to who we would BE today, some 40 years later.
But for many of us, life had a way of interfering with the dreams of our younger selves and we veered off track. For me personally, what I know now is that I should have been more assertive in getting what I really wanted and less afraid of what people would think. I should have paid less attention to how much money I’d make and more attention to what would make me happy. Fortunately, even though my path went a different route than the 17-year-old version of me imagined, I’ve had a really great life.
After moving around South Dakota several times and then to Texas and Colorado, I finally graduated from the third college I attended as a single mother of 23. Yes, you can say there were some uncertainties in my life. I was blessed to have a career in the affordable housing finance world for thirty years and was considered an expert in many areas of the world of housing management, development, and finance. I was also instrumental in the creation of the homeless consortium in South Dakota, an accomplishment of which I am very proud.
After retiring from housing and becoming a master certified life and health coach, I was appointed to my city commission and have enjoyed that role for two full years now. I tell you that, not to brag on my accomplishments, but to share what a fellow classmate said to me at the time of my appointment to the commission. He said, “I just have to say it. There was a day nobody would have guessed you’d be a city commissioner…” I have to say at first I struggled with what exactly he meant by that.
Was it because I was very shy and quiet in my early years? Or was it because I ran around with some who may have been considered the “rough” crowd? After some consideration, I came to the conclusion that it really didn’t matter because I am who I am today as a result of every single event that has happened to me in my life and I wouldn’t change a single thing (ok, maybe a few wardrobe choices or hairstyles, but you know what I mean).
The point is, we all can and should change as we grow older. We can become whoever we want to become at any stage in our lives. It is totally up to us if we are open to accepting the opportunities that come our way. If we aren’t living the life of our dreams and if we aren’t living on the edge at least a little, we may not be living the life God intended for us to live.
After all these years, I really believe that my purpose is to help people live the life their soul is longing for and to courageously step out of their comfort zone to get there. If I hadn’t had a complete transformation in my life, not once, but twice, I’m pretty sure no one would pay any attention to what I have to say about that topic.
But I’m not the only one who has gone through significant changes in our lives. And for that reason, I am excited to see all those classmates and learn where their lives have taken them. To learn where life worked out and where they might have done things differently.
I realize that each one of our journeys was vastly different than any other. With some attending college or trade school, others serving our country at home or abroad, while others went straight into the workforce. We all had a path to follow. Some paths were easier than many and some were truly unbearable.
When I look back, I hardly recognize the girl I was back then. Sure, the foundation of who I am hasn’t changed. But certainly, the twists and turns I hadn’t really expected in life have helped me to grow into someone braver and bolder than that 17-year-old girl. That timid, quiet girl who wanted to do things right, but would often get swept up in other people’s agendas still shows up sometimes. But for the most part, she has to take the back seat to the woman whose faith has given her the courage to go after what her heart desires. Ironically, so many of those desires are the very same things she dreamed about 40 years ago.
As I look forward to our reunion, I can’t help but think about how time changes things. Each decade between our eager youth and today has helped us to realize that the things we thought separated us back then, are actually things that unite us and keep us the same. I am fascinated to learn about the inner longings of my class members and whether their journey’s turned out as they had planned or had they, too, taken unexpected turns. I’m also excited that at this stage in life, we don’t have to talk about our successes and try to impress, but rather can talk about the events in life that really formed who we are.
It makes me sad that not even half the class roster will be joining us to commemorate this milestone. Some choose not to. Others are no longer alive and can only be with us in our memories. Others have life commitments that will keep them away. I admit that I’m more than a little disappointed that there is a significant number who feel they won’t be welcome or are simply not interested in reuniting for whatever reason.
Oh, I get that there were moments that we all want to forget from those trying times as adolescents. But I also feel that we are all, or at least mostly all, different people than we were back then. We’ve grown up. Learned to make it on our own, but more importantly, we have discovered we need to be open to learning from those who aren’t like us. From my experience over the last few years, most are more interested in getting to know others beyond our close circles of friends and no longer judge those who think and act differently than we do. Truly, we have so much to gain from those who see things from a different perspective.
I believe that God orchestrates our lives so that every experience we have from a small child through our last breath so that we can honor and glorify him. He gives us opportunities. Some of which turn out amazing and some aren’t even close. But each moment of victory and every valley of defeat are there for us to learn and grow into a solid faith in him. And he can turn any situation into our benefit.
As I reflect on this today, I would tell the 17-year-old version of me to not be so hard on herself when things don’t work out. That it’s ok to take risks because God is in control, not her. To stop comparing herself to others and simply be authentically her and, mostly, to be grateful for the amazing people in her life, some who she wouldn’t appreciate enough until they were gone.
The biggest lesson I want her to know is that life is short and to stop letting fear get in the way and to go for every desire God lays on her heart. Thankfully I did learn that lesson before it was too late.
I’m curious, what lesson would you tell your 17-year-old self?
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If you are one of those classmates I spoke of in this blog, whether you’ll be at the reunion or not, simply know I am grateful to you for your part in my journey. If we haven’t connected lately, I would love to do just that.
Thanks again for stopping by. Have an amazing day and go live your More!