Everyone is touched by the death of a loved one at some point in life. However, not everyone experiences grieving in the same way. In this week’s episode of Reviving Your Soul (Now Longing for More), my guest, Anica Marcum shares her personal experience that led her to her life’s work of being a grief coach. She dispels some long-held myths about grieving that every one of us needs to know.
Grief is something that we will all experience at some point in our lives. Whether we grieve the death of a loved one, a pet, the loss of a job, or even our own impending death, it is very real. We will experience grief on our own terms. No one can tell us what it will look like and no one can hurry us through it.
In the last episode, I talked about the parallels between different life events and natural storms. Grief is a storm that is unpredictable. Even when you see it coming, there is no way to prepare for it. In this week’s episode of Reviving Your Soul, I had the distinct pleasure of interviewing my fellow coach and dear friend, Anica Marcum. In the episode, she shares her story of losing her mother to colorectal cancer when the young age of 20. She tells how that loss has impacted her life and brought her to a place where she is now a grief coach.
The journey was a winding one for Anica. She had to learn that after those first few weeks, no-one wanted to talk about her mother’s death anymore. She shares how she learned to incorporate traditions she had with her mother into her world where it felt right to do so. Like the tea kettle sitting on the stove that never gets used, but it’s an everyday reminder of the love she has for her mother who is no longer there.
She also learned that there are triggers in life that bring all that grief back to her. Like, even though she already had a son, when her daughter was born, she found she needed to get therapy to deal with the emotions having a mother-daughter relationship brought up for her. And that’s ok. Reaching out to get help can be crucial for moving forward at certain times in your journey,
She’s learned as a mother that its hard to be a motherless mother. In fact, that is the primary focus of her personal coaching practice called Maximized Mommy. She helps busy moms who don’t have a mother in their lives for whatever reason to get through the trials in life. I personally feel very blessed my mother is still alive as she is always the first person I call when something big happens in my life, so l love that Anica is filling this need for women who don’t have that luxury.
I think it is beautiful how her grief brought her to the coaching world and she has been able to incorporate the mantra that “no matter where you are in your journey, you are in the right spot and its ok.” She shares that contrary to the common belief of the 5 stages of grief, there are no set stages and that there really is no end. And that’s ok, too. Each of us gets to decide how we grieve, but that it is important to always be moving forward and it’s crucial to not be harming oneself.
From my own practice, I’ve learned that grief can trick you into thinking you are just stressed out or it can make you avoid doing certain things you need to get done, but dread for some unknown reason. I’ve coached people through these blocks and helped them find peace with their loss. My advice to you is if you are dealing with a loss in your life and you find you just aren’t yourself anymore, seek out someone you can talk to. That someone who can hold a safe place for you to work through the sadness and disappointments that accompany a loss, whether it has already happened or is in the process of slipping away.
If you’d like to work with Anica, you can find her on Facebook under maximizedmommy. If you have any trouble, just let me know. I’d be glad to help you connect.
It’s completely normal to grieve, not months, but years, when you lose someone or something you love. Be grateful for having had it and allow your heart to heal in its own time. Get help if you need someone to help navigate the path.
If you know of someone who is mourning the loss of a loved one, share this with them. I would be blessed if it can help them in their journey in some small way.
Have a blessed week.
